Responsibilities

As much as I love weddings for the beautiful gowns and dresses, the flowers and decoration, the family warmth and mostly importantly the husband...I also know that first and foremost marriage is about responsibility. Responsibility is something we learn since we were small, starting from taking care of ourselves to taking care of others. When we were younger, we were in charge of our own things, i.e. books, school bag, stationeries, school shoes and as we grew older we were in charge of our rooms and bathrooms. Some of us were assigned chores like doing the laundry or putting out the garbage. Later on we're in charge of our own learning. After years of coaching and scolding from our parents we then learned that we were accountable for our own successes and failures.
And then we start working and we have work to do, work to submit, bosses who watch us and evaluate us and when we have earned some money we need to learn how to be responsible of that too. Soon enough we have to pay our car loan, bills, insurance and then there is also savings to think about. You know the cushion to ensure that you don't fall hard on the ground when there's emergency. And most definitely because someday that money will come in handy when you need to buy a house. That's hard. After that it's time to give back to our parents. The two most important people who did all they could to make us who we are today. Although not much, we try to 'give' something to our parents. In a way, that's like taking care of someone else other than ourselves. And for some with younger siblings, of course they need to look after them too, which includes spending some money on them. I suppose this is especially harder for the eldest, more so for an eldest son. How could they be expected to afford to take care of another person, who is someone else's daughter? I mean, if they only just started off.
No matter how well to do one is, we all know how much money one earns and needs to spend when one is just starting off. It takes time to be stable before one is able to be responsible of taking care of another person. There's the dowry, the ring, the gifts, the outfits, etc to think of and on top of that there's a life to look forward to after that. That of course needs more money, right? For some who come from well to do families, whose parents could afford to support the wedding the burden is somewhat eased with the financial aid. Some are even lucky enough to have a place to stay, all thanks to their parents. Hence, nowadays it's no surprise some could throw such lavish weddings, of course with the help of their very kind parents.
On the other hand, if we all put our mind on our actual intention and look at marriage as a 'sunnah' and a responsibility as a Muslim, I'm sure the Divide intervention will help the couple in a way or another to make their wedding happen. Of course savings must come into play but I'm one who likes to believe if we put our mind into something we could make anything happen. Especially when it's such a noble intention like getting married.
I'd also like to add my reaction to the Malay drama shown on TV just now. If you remember it's the one with Fahrin and Sh. Amani. Anyways, they are a young couple who decided to get married. However, unequipped with domesticated knowledge, the young wife turned the marriage sour and put off both her husband and her mother-in-law. This is another important skill in a marriage. No one needs to be a gourmet chef, even men should understand this, especially if your future wife has had a maid all her life. However, having said that, it's never too late to learn. At least get your fundamentals strong. Women should know their place in a marriage. Men too, should know their limits to hang out and do manly activities, i.e. outdoor activities, futsal and 'lepak' with friends. It's not the end of it, just strike a balance. Sometimes women too want to be with their friends or have girls' day with her sisters and mother. Work something out that both could agree to. Even better if you could involve your wife with your activities.
Lastly, we all should learn how to give and take in our responsibilities as a couple. After all it's about learning and getting better. I'm no expert but this is what I think. Remember, later on there are children to think about, house, education so on and so forth...It never ends, but do have fun along the way :)

P/s: Selamat Pengantin Baru kepada semua rakan-rakan, sahabat handai dan kekanda ku sendiri. Semoga jodoh kalian kekal bahagia hingga ke akhir hayat, sentiasa dirahmati Allah & dikurniakan cahaya mata yang beriman & comel-comel.

Wedding calendar:
1. Mursyida Husna & Faiz, 6th Nov 2010 - attended
2. Nurul Syuhada & Hairul, 20th Nov 2010 - attended
3. Nur Faizah & Ridhwan, 28th Nov 2010 - attended
4. Suhaili & Nazran, 11 Dec 2010
5. Shafik Afendi Surkery & Yuhainis Kamardin, 17 Dec 2010 (nikah), 18 Dec 2010 (bride's side), 19 Dec 2010 (Perlis reception), 26 Dec 2010 (S.Alam reception)

I think that shall end the weddings for end of this year. To the weddings I could not attend:
1. Aizuddin & Darleena
2. Syazana & Erman
3. Siti Hawa Jamilah & Irwan
- my apologies, as your weddings are either too far or clashes with my brother's wedding. I wish all of you the best, may your events be a memorable one :)

It's always good to see people happy and starting a new chapter in life :) A happy one, InsyaAllah...Amin...

Pictures - thanks to google images