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Daisypath - Graduation

Lilypie - Trying to Conceive

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What F2 and F3 in SMSJ taught me

I finally broke down and told my mom I didn't want to go to school. I just could not take it; the whispers, the staring, the silent treatment and mean looks. It was unbearable. As far as I was concerned I didn't do anything really bad like the kind of thing that could harm people's reputation or lives for that matter. I tried in vain to apologize, begged my way to forgiveness, trying to win that smile. I tried calling, I tried e-mailing, but nothing seemed to work. Well, you've guessed it. All these politics among girls have existed for centuries. Girls fight over popularity, envious of who's better looking than who or even who's smarter than who. Sad to say, worst of all - girls fight over boys. The most shameful of all the reasons to fight. I must admit, I was once guilty of that too. For ages I tried to come to terms with that hurtful things some of my friends did to me. I endured and of course I've forgiven them even though I did not get any actual apology for being mean from them. Now honestly, I could not care less. I wish all of them well and I don't hold a single grudge in my heart.
I was also wrong, and immature. Guess what, we were all the same. However, the one thing that I failed to comprehend was what's the wisdom behind all this? Apart from - if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger. All those crap didn't quite come in handy until last night happened. Prior to that 3 upper-6 girls were caught sleeping in the comfort of their own room in the hostel during school hours. The school's discipline teacher took matters into her hands and they really got it from her. I could not back them up. The unspoken rule in the teaching field, you just don't over step certain boundaries and rules are rules, so they belong to the disciplinarians.
There has also been a lot of noise and grouses about this group of upper 6 girls and that group of upper 6 girls. The split was so obvious and I could not bear this any longer – especially because I’ve had my share of girl conflicts. With my knowledge and experience I had to play the mediator to help these kids understand each other and themselves better. As usual, everything turned out to be plain misunderstandings. We build our beliefs based on mere assumptions, putting our feelings and emotions in front before our heads – we’re all guilty of that at many points in our lives, especially girls and they grow up to be women. So I helped them communicate. They did and it did almost turn ugly with emotions escalating – typical girls. Then they did finally shake their hands and showed some love and we all hugged like some crazy in love people. I personally felt it inside my heart. When I was going through such a difficult time in school I dealt with it, mostly on my own and I had to resort to somewhat making myself smaller so I could gain some sympathy and forgiveness for whatever I did wrong – like I still don’t know what it was for sure but whatever. Allah knew for sure that for me to be a good teacher, a teacher who gives a damn about my kids I must be equipped. What best way to learn if not by making mistakes and experiencing them. Therefore, now I see the point why it was necessary for me to go through that. It clearly makes me a good teacher. A teacher who cares, a teacher who guides and show love. Actually I’m far from there, but I’m learning. Well ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Aida just became a mediator.
P/s: Kids can be mean and adults can be like kids too sometimes. Think about it.