Study leave

I am going for an interview for CBBPTB on Tuesday, 10th Sept. Nervous, anxious, clueless, teeny bit excited - all rolled up into one! When I applied for this, I really wasn't expecting anything. Given the little experience I have in the field, I reckon my application will fail even at the first stage. A course-mate text me sometime after Raya (punyelah aku tak kisah nak semak). With very little hope and anticipation I checked and Alhamdulillah, permohonan anda diluluskan & anda diminta hadir ke sesi temuduga pada so and so...that's the scary part. Now, it's prepping time...and I have not done anything yet. Study! Study! Study!

Scored with flying colours!!!

I did it! Ended my first semester in June. That was one hell of a ride and I have 3 more to go. Meanwhile, also actively trying to conceive. I have started another blog that records my journey to conceive. Oh, well...God's got to test you one way or another right! So, this will be more about my work and studies. I am now teaching in the morning session. Alhamdulillah, that settles the classes problems. I have registered for Part 2 or second semester of the course and looking forward to class which will start on 20th Sept. My first semester results? The title says it all! Yeay!!! Alhamdulillah...that's more like it! The result was announce in August and that set the mood for Hari Raya. In all honestly, 3.78 CGPA was beyond my expectation. However, with that comes the pressure of maintaining my results. Takooottt!!! On a more cheerful note, my application for CBBP TB is successful and interview session is on Tues, 10 Sept! That's another TAKOOOTTT!!!

miss u

Suddenly I get this fear of losing this blog. I spent so many years writing here and I would be shattered to lose such important piece of anecdotes of the stories of my life. Dated back from my single days, to falling in love and then now to being blissfully married and patiently waiting to become pregnant. I just lost my email. The one I've had for as long as I could remember - well, that's exaggerating! I've had it since form 3...I'm just saddened by the fact that I can't retrieve that email and I can't access it. Part of the reason has to be my negligence too. (Don't wanna talk about it). I remember this ustaz said that when things come to an end it means your rezeki to have it was only up to the point when it could still be used. Once it no longer can be used, it has passed its due. So, what can I do? Create a new one. But this blog? NO!!!!!!!

The Pre-Postgrad post

Hehe...the title is so 'gedik'. I am encouraging myself to be excited about this! Today, I checked the education faculty post-grad blogspot for class schedule and Alhamdulillah it was already up. Since I have the day off from school, I did the online registration today and went to school to settle the part time studying application form to be submitted to PPD which will then be forwarded to JPN. With the letter from JPN I will be entitled to 30 days of unrecorded leave a year should there be any classes or exams that fall on school days. Hopefully the approval will follow through without any hiccup. I am also very excited to share my class schedule here:

The dates of my classes and the group. It's ED770 by the way :-)

The class timetable - just look at the crazy time!

As you can probably see (or maybe NOT, because the font is too small) I will be doing 3 courses this year and they are: 1. Education & Human Development 2. Literature in ESL (an elective course) and 3. Research Methodology. Number 3 scares me the most as I could recall how clueless I was when I did this subject during my degree days. Number 1 & 2 should be okay, In Shaa Allah. Just looking at the time I will spend for every class during this semester makes me tired. I hope I will be given the physical and mental strength to complete this within 2 years. Baby? That plan is still on board. I sure hope I can cope with the assignments while doing my job as a full time teacher. What's next? Well, there are plans but everything is a bit cluttered in this little head of mine right now so...we'll just see how it goes and slowly build my way in this career. 

Answering the question

Am I competitive? Actually not. However, with the advancement of technology and people being less private about their personal lives, living on a day-to-day basis can be quite a pressure. Looking at people's status updates who are proudly showing off their baby-bumps, new purchases and yes, baby photos...do make me feel urm...a little jealous. That's the word - jealous. Like how I wish that was me and the constant question of, "Why am I still not pregnant yet?". To worsen the situation, the society doesn't help ease my tension. In fact, they act as a catalyst to upset my emotion by asking me, "Why are not pregnant yet?" or "When are you gonna have a baby?". Their oblivion, or rather ignorance puzzles me. In actual fact, I WISH I KNEW THE ANSWER TO THOSE QUESTIONS!
Just to amuse myself in this post I will come out with the reasons they SO long for.

WHY AM I STILL NOT PREGNANT?

1. My husband and I dated for a short while before we got married so we wanna have a year or two to ourselves
2. We are both doing our part-time masters and we wanna concentrate doing one thing at a time :)
3. Our future baby hates competition - with everyone popping out babies this year, we'd like to do it when they are done having theirs. Our baby will get ALL THE ATTENTION when the right time comes :))
4. We wanna be financially ready first (cliche sgt yg ni!)
5. HMMM.....ERRMMM....out of ideas already...*sigh*

- Ideas from anyone who is reading is much welcomed.

A few days ago I was at my mum-in-law's. They have this helper who comes in daily to help with the house work. And so far, every time she sees me she seems to be more concerned about whether or not I am pregnant rather than how I am. The most recent that annoyed the hell out of me was her comment, "Oh, takde rezeki lagi....kesian...." KESIAN? What? Do I need sympathy? Am I deprived of living because I am not pregnant yet? Seriously, what the....? But she's just a helper, not any member of the family (Thank God for that) and she's not in any way significant to me so I'll let it go but that did disturb me. Even kids are asking the same question - but...they are kids. Honestly, I dunno how I am going to handle this raya if we are still not pregnant by then.

As a Muslim, I believe in rezeki and that too is determined by Allah. When? How much/many? We can only try and pray and the rest is not up to us to decide. I strongly believe in that and should we need any form of medical assistance, we don't need others to tell us this. It shall be a decision made by us and we will do it when the time comes. So, please stop. Stop asking, stop feeling sorry and stop suggesting - because we have heard it all! As TTCs, we read extensively on this issue, even more than many pregnant mothers out there. We think about ourselves and our future. You can't even begin to imagine the amount of money every TTC has to spend once they've decided to get a fertility assessment or treatment. So, if you are not one of us and you really care so much, please just remember us in your prayers. Trust me, that's the best thing you could do to help someone. (credit to google images for the picture)

An attempt to not fail

Hi! It's been a few months...So latest update is I just registered as a part time post graduate student for the course M. Ed(TESL) in UiTM Shah Alam. I don't really have a plan I would say but my main objective is to graduate with a masters and use that to leave school and get an employment as a lecturer somewhere. This is just a plan though, made by the very human me. What the Almighty has planned for me has yet to be discovered. Meanwhile, I just stroll along and try to do this although I know what hectic life I've just got myself into. Since Rafei (my husband) is also doing his MBA and we are still waiting for the miracle of life to happen, I've decided to use this time and opportunity to study. In other words, trying to distract myself from the dreadful question of "When will I be pregnant?!" Yes, I am jealous. I am jealous of all the baby-bumps, baby photos, proud mummy and daddy....some tend to be a tad leaning towards being boastful (sorry to say this but I do get this from some of you, definitely not all but surely some). So, what the heck?! Let's graduate with a Masters instead. When life gives you lemons...make lemonade. When life gives you empty womb, fill your time before it gets filled! Hahahaha. So...good luck to me and the rest of you who are doing this or will be doing this!

Very soon we'll bid farewell to 2012 and welcome the new year, 2013! If last year closing the chapter of 2011; the miracle year for me, and looking forward to 2012 was all about my wedding and being married, this year how I envision my 2013 would be a lot different...in various aspects actually. Career wise and professional development will certainly drain me physically and mentally. Pursuing my post graduate studies come March 2013 (In Shaa Allah) part time while shouldering all the responsibilities shoved unto me by the school administration. We'll just see how it goes. I am just doing this as my gut tells me to. So, care to share a handbook I can prepare myself with to embark on this journey? At the same time, we'll be more proactive (if we have the energy, as we're both doing the work & study thing together) in TTC. We hope to get pregnant in 2013, and if we're lucky we might just have the baby within the same year. Ameen... In my mind I am dreaming of a lot of things. For a start, hope I get to drive a brand new car, but I am financing my own studies, just can't imagine doing that while paying my tuition fees. Will have KIV this plan. Besides, we have to start saving for our home which will be ready in 2014 (In Shaa Allah). Money, money...we can never have enough. I am also dreaming of buying baby clothes and pushing the stroller while my little kid sits in there, hope he/she doesn't cry too much! Hehe...wishful thinking. But who knows right? That might just come true...Patience, Aida! Patience... God, I am sleepy. So, here's to 2013. May all our wishes come true and may Allah guide us through. Ameen, good night and a happy new year

Already 3 months...

...Hello! It's been a LONG time since I last wrote about the happenings in my life. In my last post, I updated about my transfer to a new school. It is SMK Hillcrest, Taman Seri Gombak. The first month, I was placed in the morning session and taking over another teacher's time table. It took awhile to get the hang of it. First, it was the waking up early in the morning...I am not an early riser. So waking up and driving early in the morning didn't come naturally to me. Especially after almost 3 years of just walking a few metres to get to school, this was not easy for me. Second, was the relearning process. I had to relearn the culture, the students, the system, and it was more complicated than the previous school. Next, was the students. Certainly not easy as now I am teaching more students with a variety of attitudes, abilities, problems etc. After a month teaching the morning session, I was then placed in the afternoon session where I was supposed to be placed initially. Teaching the lower forms, huh? May sound easy to some, but it comes with its own challenges. Younger students seem to be more active. They are definitely more childish, still playing all sort of games and many of them could care less about exams as they just sat for the UPSR. Besides that, the new PBS system that has no exams makes them even more free to think less about studying. Kids being kids could care less about the effects or repercussion they will face in the future if they do not study now. It was quite a challenge for me to instill some interest in studying for them especially when the motivation is not scoring in the exams. I mean, to tell you the truth, when I was a school student myself, I saw learning simply as means for me to do well in exams that is crucial for my future (tertiary education and career). Our immature minds were never exposed to seeing learning as the acquisition of knowledge for the betterment of oneself, while putting exams and career advancement out of the equation. It sort of came in a package. I find that, the younger generation, especially the one I am teaching, is no different. They do not know how to take their studies seriously, let alone think about the purpose of learning for their future. Seeing beyond what's in the nearest future to them is I suppose, almost impossible. Hence, disciplining them in class becomes the hardest task. To top it up, now the teaching periods I have is more than what I was used to. Every day I feel so tired and the last thing I want to do each day is think about school. Seriously. I am also replacing a teacher who is on her maternity leave and picking up where someone else has left off can be quite confusing. All in all, everything takes time. Once everything started to sink in and I began to understand my responsibilities and slowly established a routine, I was beginning to feel fine. Some things just can't be changed so you have to adjust yourself to follow suit with the system. Alhamdulillah, so far I am surviving and already can't wait for the year-end school holidays!!!

Liking the quote. Credit to google ;) Cheers

Hi!!! Writing from my phone. So this post will be short. I have successfully transferred to SMK Hillcrest, Tmn Sei Gombak. Right now I have no idea what to do. Yesterday I was given a few classes to relief, but today so far I have none. Even I wonder why today I do not get any relief class. At the moment no time table yet. In conclusion, I am dead bored here...I'm sure only for now...*yawn*

the long overdue post: MY RECEPTION

We got back around 2 a.m. after we were done with outdoor photo shoot post nikah. By the time I got the make up removed I crawled to bed at about 3ish, ALONE. Mr hubster had to go back - it's a pantang to stay overnight before the majlis bersanding. As nikah was meant to be an intimate affair, so the marriage isn't publicly announced just yet. The majlis bersanding a.k.a wedding reception is the occasion to announce to the world that - this couple is lawfully wedded. Then only could the marriage be consummated - well, according to adat that is. Anyhoots, on Saturday hubby arrived at 12ish and had shower and lunch at my place before we pushed off to the venue of our reception. It was Singgahsana Hotel, Petaling Jaya. We considered many venues during the preparation period and trust me venue selection was the trickiest because wedding is now a fast-growing business and with that many places offer cut-throat quotation for just a decent dinner. The venue we finally settled with was within my parents' budget and it did allow us to cater to a slightly large number of crowd, which was about 500 pax. I would still think that H.O.M.E is the best place for a Malay wedding reception, however given the limited space we had, we decided to take the wedding to a different location. We got to the hotel a bit late, there were family arriving at home, some visitors came to give their well wishes to us, we couldn't say no could we? The rehearsal was supposed to begin at 3.30 but got delayed to 4...I was pretty anxious as I wanted to see if the slideshow we had prepared was working but the technician was not around. It was pretty obvious that the wedding planner was getting pissed, I on the other hand started to worry but still maintained my cool. After waiting for a bit more we started the rehearsal but skipped the slideshow and video session. She gave me her word that she'd make sure it will appear that night. It better did! We were already running late. My make-up artist arrived at 5 and make-up was supposed to start by 5.30 but I hadn't even taken my shower at that time. So I rushed to the bridal suite and got ready for make-up. I put my worries aside, and told myself "What will be, will be! The most important thing is we're married"...My MUA did her magic again and wallah I was transformed from a tired-looking girl to a beautiful, glowing bride! I loved her job, I loved my look. Especially this one! And the best thing was hearing my husband telling me how beautiful his wife looked! Precious! :)) After striking a few poses we were summoned to the waiting room before making our entrance into the banquet hall. My heart was beating fast. I hope nothing goes wrong. Before we knew it, the moment arrived. Slowly we made our way to the bridal dais, all eyes were on us, cameras from every angle, we walked hand in hand, all smiles. That was a moment to remember - this must be how all celebrities on a red carpet feel, only 1000 times better because I am with my husband. I have lived for almost 27 years to finally found the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, InsyaAllah and the best part is he feels the same way too! (Lots of love in my heart) Sitting up there with about 500 pairs of eyes looking at us, we beamed with happiness. "Alhamdulillah", my heart cried. Once all the VIPs gave their blessings to us with just a simple 'bersalaman' session as a replacement to the 'merenjis' ritual, we marched to the high table. My husband was so macho! I love saying that because he likes to think of himself that way and it's not like he isn't anyways! Dinner started but I didn't think I savoured it as much as I should have, hehe, because I was still not settled...not until the whole event was finished. But based on words from our guests, the food was great! That, I was truly happy about. Unfortunately, there were things I was really unhappy about and they were the slideshow and video preview and the sound system! Even thinking about it makes me angry about everything. We paid good money for that night and it's just unfair that we weren't satisfied with all their services. First, the slideshow went crazy...the sound system in particular, same went to the video! They were also supposed to dim the lights! But it continued to be bright the whole time! And my dad's speech wasn't clear, I was so bumped! I was at the brink of tears but thankfully my husband was there. Lesson learnt: WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING. All in all I felt happy actually, and relieved it's all over. Despite the technical problem, I was overjoyed. How blessed I feel to have my family members doing everything they could for my wedding, friends coming near and far for our wedding reception, my BFFs doing their part as the emcee of the night. I couldn't be happier, we couldn't be happier. The slideshow and video were magically beautiful. We loved them, only the presentation didn't do justice to their beauty. We wish to thank our parents, our siblings, aunts & uncles, cousins and their family, our relatives, best friends, close friends, colleagues, family friends, Splendiferous Pictures, Yon Photography, Kak Ina who did our slideshow, Kak Affy for the gorgeous make-up!!! Ah-Ching for the outfits, Jue Eden for the pelamin, of course Ustaz Imran our jurunikah, I still thank Singgahsana BUT they have to work on improving their sound system PRONTO! Below (recently embedded) is our nikah video that many could have missed on our reception dinner. Credit to Spendiferous Pictures, please enjoy...

SDE Video Highlight - Aida + Rafei from Splendiferous Pictures ™ on Vimeo.

Wedding Review

If there's any critic in this world who is hardest on wedding reviews, I think I can be pretty harsh. However, the lesson learnt is: you have VERY LITTLE control over what turns out on your wedding day. I used to have a fairy tale like imagination of every detail of my wedding. This self proclaimed bridezilla thought she got it all figured out, BUT she thought WRONG! There were many lessons learnt as I embarked on this journey of being wedded to my new-found love. Being away from home mostly was the main reason this wedding planning thing was harder to handle. The only time I had was during the year end school holidays, however having to help mama taking care of the household somewhat hindered the process as well. Often times, fatigue got in the way. Here's some things I've got to say about my own wedding day :) It was no Yusry-Lisa, nor was it any near to any VIP's daughter's wedding, nonetheless it remains as the most wonderful memory both Rafei and I share and shall cherish for the rest of our lives. It was not about what we saw and how we looked like, but it was the way the whole experience made us feel - just as what I've always imagined, only a million times better in every sense.
Nikah - 3rd February 2012, Home sweet home, After maghrib
My verdict on:
- My pelamin: NICE :))
- My henna: so pretty...simple and nice
- My room: Wished there were more fresh flowers, wished I had gone to the florist instead!!! But I loved the scent of the room - bunga rampai with a hint of rose water scent and of course the bed sheet was gorgeous!
- My hantaran: Credit to kak Ejah. Happy with the results but again, wished I had gone to the florist to pick out more flowers.
- My outfit: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...especially the shawl. I was so glad I opted for the simple, demure look. It's understated but elegant still (I hope)
- My make-up: AMAZING
The pit and the peak of NIKAH: The PIT was the delayed start as Friday night's traffic was HELL. So groom's side took some time to gather at Masjid Abu Bakar As-Siddiq SS19. Hence, the ceremony started later than scheduled, but it went on quickly and smoothly :)
The PEAK: Definitely the 'sekali lafaz' made by hero of the day: my husband did it with such confidence and 'machoness'! Kudos sayang!
The moment of truth
mas kahwin from him to me
sarung cincin
the ring we picked
putting on his ring
blissfully wedded couple
kissing me

In Response to someone's post

I read this post on someone's blog I used to follow - as I've just removed her from my reading list, nothing personal...just thought that I've no use following her anymore. Hehehe...I reckon now that my wedding is over and all these wedding craze should end, hehe. Anyways, she wrote about planning for a child. True enough she wrote about being prepared economically and how important it is to enjoy couple time before jumping into parenthood, but a part of me felt like she's missing one point in which we Muslims would phrase it as 'Hikmah disebalik sesuatu'. Sometimes we may think that planning is everything, I wanna have this and that by certain age and my child will have the BEST everything, but how much exactly do we know about everything we have planned? Is our plan really the best? Quoting her friend's story about how 'deprived' her life is at the moment because she had her first child a bit too early than she's 'supposed' to...it made me feel that what's she's heading for is looking at things in the monetary sense. Let's look at the days when our parents raised us. Were we lavished with the most expensive everything? Fast food every other day? The biggest house? A brand new car right after SPM? At least I wasn't. But do I feel like less of a person today because I was raised to understand that money doesn't come easy? A BIG FAT NO! This world now is too crowded with people telling us that we NEED SO MANY THINGS until we get blurred with what we truly need and what we truly just plain want. Yes it's individual choice to live life according to a certain path or value but always remember our creator and always believe that InsyaAllah for everything He grants us with, it's a blessing to us. Do we get it, do we not, it's not our business to question. With lots of doa, hard work and tawakal we'll make it through. It's about putting our life not in our hands, but in HIS. And that, is something I am still working at. Wallahu'alam...Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

My Bachelorette Party times 2

Yes, I meant to write about this long ago but haven't got the time to sit down and write all the details. I must say I was so touched by the effort shown by all my BFFs for making the event such a special and memorable one for me. Despite whatever glitches, bottom line is I was super duper happy and really felt like a bride-to-be :)) Besides, I got two batches of PARTAYYY!!!
For the first batch, we were all gathered at AmpWalk, Jalan Ampang. There's this beautiful restaurant called Flora Cafe. The ambiance was breathtaking, fit for a wedding. I honestly felt like getting my soon to be groom and tell him, "Sayang, kite kawen kat sini je nak?" hehe, just kidding...it's pretty obvious that it wouldn't fit the amount of guests I have. After we're done with dinner we headed down to Sucasa Service Apartments for our 'slumber party'. Unfortunately we're all tired so the night continued with heartwarming pillow talks and more snacking...that was a good one!
To my surprise there was another special celebration for me, planned about 2 weeks before my wedding!!! OMG, despite my already busy schedule then it was an awesome retreat from such a stressful period for me. My beloved friends had it all planned out at Marmalade, BV2. The place had an energy that I truly loved, it was painted in warm colours and everything looked perfect with the pink balloons my friends bought. Apart from the hearty dishes, we also played a few games. Brilliantly prepared by soulsistah Dilla Karim with the help of all the other soulsistahs of course. We had 'taboo - wedding special version', essay writing of How Rafei met Aida - because I am a teacher I think, hehe,'Don't Forget the Lyrics' - because I LOVE singing and A-Z about wedding game. We had so much fun!!! It was a great party and I truly enjoyed it. I am really grateful to have friends who went to great lengths to make me happy. A big hearty THANK YOU to all of you.

Venue 1: Flora Cafe, Ampwalk Ampang
all of us
RAINBOW cake
at sucasa ampang
Venue 2: Marmalade @BV2
the happy faces
the yummylicious food
the soon-to-be bride
the handmade gift
me: all smiles like 1 happy kid

6 DAYS!!!!!!

See the ticker??? that says it all, hehe...

In less than 2 weeks....

this life will forever change...
I will be a wife to the most wonderful man I know... :)
suddenly it's all in slow motion. when i looked at my friends yesterday, I was holding back my tears. inside i felt it, i only have this moment to celebrate, to live in the present time of being in my singlehood before embarking on journey which i am still clueless about. i've heard lots about it from family, friends, mass media...but i don't know what mine will be like. i am excited, i am nervous, tremendously happy and scared too. it's overwhelming. but, I WANT TO ENJOY IT.
List of things I'll never get to do after this:
- Wake up late whenever and wherever....it's a BIG NO,NO to wake up late at mom in law's hse, I was told. hehehe, rumah mak sendiri boleh diskaun lagi
- Go anywhere at anytime as I please....must always ask permission and plan ahead
- BERMALAS-MALASAN - hehehe, maybe there are days when i still become malas kot
List of things I must do after this:
- Obey him (selagi tidak bertentangan dgn syarak of cos)
- Cook
- Clean
- Take good care of him
- Iron his clothes
- Be with him through good times and bad times
*I intended to write about my lovely bridal shower yesterday but I need the pictures and time to do it...so that the entry will truly capture all the greatness of the celebration.
P/S: Picture used is intended solely for illustration purpose. It is not related to the author in anyway. Thanks google images!

LESS THAN 2 MONTHS ONLY!!!!!!

I am freaking out because the ticker shows we only have LESS THAN 50 days to our Big Day. Indeed I am happy because I can't wait for our nuptials *winkwink* So far, I've covered the basics, only the little details need to be completed and reviewed! I.am.NERVOUS....
Nikah
Date/Day: 3rd Feb 2012
Venue: Home sweet Home
- Pendaftaran : half way done
- Outfit him & her : done!
- Make up : done! deposit paid!
- Pelamin : discussed with vendor - need follow up
- Caterer : mama & bapak shall decide
- Door gifts - belum finalise
- P.A System : will borrow Pak Njang's
- Room decor : on, no!!! belum fikir lagi!!! hehe - but room is painted, new lights will be installed, bed sheet dah ada...just a bit here & there
- Hantaran - everything bought
- flowers - NEED TO ORDER before going back to school
- Photographer : booked
- Videographer : booked and paid half (courtesy of Mama)
- Hand bouquet : Kak Ija will settle
Reception
Date/Day: 4th Feb 2012
Venue: Singgahsana, PJ
- Venue : confirmed and deposit paid. Meeting & food tasting to follow
- Pelamin : will use what hotel had provided
- Outfit: half done - need to get TUDUNG, VEIL and his outfit
- Photographer : booked
- Slide presentation : working on it
- Songs : 80% done
- Photo booth : NEED HELP!!! Don't know how to do backdrop, need to discuss with Singgahsana
- Wedding favours : in progress
- Emcee : booked
- Bridesmaid : Booked Dilla Karim! ;)
- Best man : still searching
- Flower girls : need follow up - the usual girls!!!
- Invitation Card : paid half, IN PROGRESS
- Make up : booked, paid half
- Hand bouquet : Kak Ija will settle
- Bunga manggar : Pls check this with hotel, jgn jd mcm along last time
* This checklist shows just how much more I need to do, which is SGT BANYAK!!! Freaking out!!!!!

This may come in handy...

Ever since I started being in a relationship, I've thought of writing a piece on how I finally knew and found LOVE, well I must admit that I am still learning. My quest in finding Love started pretty early. Actually I was never looking for one but as I could remember that was probably the first time ever I understood what falling for someone really meant. So, I thought
Going wayyyyyy back when...Falling for a best friend.
I was only 14 and I had this guy friend who was always around telling me about everything that went on with his life, so naturally I did the same and we just connected. He's nice, down to earth, good looking, smart and wallah! Isn't that what every girl looks for in a man? So when he told me he had fallen for one of my best friends, I chocked for a moment. I felt a pang of jealousy rushed through me but I tried so hard to hide it, I was worried he might notice. HAHAHA - silly me! That little crush lasted a very long time before I could understand the first lesson in LOVE and LIFE: Learning to differentiate between LOVE and just being NICE. A person who loves you would not wait for 10 years to do something about it - you know what I mean. A person who loves you, will make time no matter how busy he or she may be, even just for 10 minutes talking to you after a long day at work. It's exactly like He's Just Not That Into You - if a man likes you he would call.
I also learnt about LOVE & LIFE the hard way. As girls, we grew up fed with fairy tales and happily ever after and prince charming...but what they didn't tell you - LOVE can be painful. Well it's not supposed to be if it began with the right purpose and followed by sincerity and executed the right way. I learnt to taste disappointment at its core I suppose. Well, in short I met a guy whom I thought at the time had the right package, though lacking something, but still was worthy of my love. However, what I got in returned after lots of drama was nothing short of the feeling of humiliation, bitterness, devastation - which were VERY UNHEALTHY! So I stopped and thought long and hard. What was wrong with me? And then I realised, I was overlooking the most important thing in one's life - One's RELIGION. My ex was not a Muslim and there so many outside pressures. Soon it just became too messy and he started changing. To cut it short, we broke up and he hooked up with one of my close friends. This may be subjective to many, but to me, my religion was the only thing that saved me from hitting rock bottom. From there I learnt to look back at myself and 'repaired' myself from the emotional damages. That was the saddest part of my life I wish never to revisit. However, I must say I learnt a lot from that experience. A guy who loves you would do their best for you instead of making you do things for them. A guy who loves you will not take you for granted and mistreat you. I took a long break from relationships as I learnt to know myself better and slowly I tried to become a better person in whatever ways I could. It is quite surprising actually how much YOU LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF when heartaches happen. I'm not here to dish about all the wrong things that guys have done to me, instead it's more about how I learn what love means from the experience I went through. None of these guys are bad people, but they just weren't right for me, and I wasn't right for them too!
Meeting MR RIGHT
Mr RIGHT is NOT Mr Perfect. Mr RIGHT doesn't drive a great car - I still love your B(l)M sayang! Mr RIGHT was just his humble and simple self, with a sense of humour and a wonderful heart. He doesn't surprise me with flowers but he meets my parents before bringing me out. He doesn't buy me handbags but never fails to cheer me up when I'm down. He doesn't promise me wealth but sincerely gives his heart to me. He doesn't tell me what to do, he only wish for me to be a good Muslim who abides Allah & Rasul. As for now, I am convinced with the love he's shown and I believe he will be a good husband and InsyaAllah father. We both are not perfect people, still learning, still making mistakes and learning some more. It is the first time for me dating someone older actually, and I believe my mother was right when she advised us to marry an older man. However, the age gap is not that big - only 4 years. Naturally he's more matured than me (Alhamdulillah for that), because of that too I have faith that I can rely on him. Ultimately, as I am a Muslim, it all comes back to jodoh. You know what they say, "Kalau dah jodoh, tak ke mana..." (walaupun jumpa dlm FB je!)...hehehe...good luck to us, may we become a strong, happy and blessed married couple InsyaAllah! I am sooooo looking forward to this - MARRIED LIFE :)

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After months

Us at his family dinner at Italiannies Gardens
Us all grown up
Raya as engaged couple
Shoes 4 hantaran & reception
Sofea, Afiq & Natrah solat together
My huge family on 1st raya
1 of the 2010 babies on Raya
Wafeeqa, me & Shaza
Greetings earthlings! Many things have happened both in my personal life and teaching profession. From exams to students running away from hostel, HARI RAYA with family and of course fiance for the first time in my life, cat fight dramas to more weddings and engagements and finally my own preparation to our BIG DAY! :)

Fasting & Feasting
The beginning of August this year also happened to be the beginning of Ramadhan. It was my first experience fasting with Mr fiance (we totally skipped fasting and raya as a couple, and jumped straight to engaged couple). It was a great experience going for Tarawih prayers with him, his mother and sister, breaking fast at each others' houses and even breaking fast outside with friends. What an awesome feeling to see him all blushed when asked about when our big day will be. For the first time I saw sincerity straight from a man's eyes and smile. I know this is right :)
Raya as always is an auspicious celebration filled with LOTS of food, family, friends and laughter. Let the pictures do the talking, yea!

Hunt for Hantaran Items
So far we've bought a few items as there were many special offers and discounts during the festive season. Both of us haven't decided the fixed amount of trays as when we counted, it looks like there will be some additional items...so this is still in progress :)

A kid ran away...a silly 15 year old thought that she's so smart and decided to ran away and literally put us in hot soup! Even thinking about her makes me mad, so in the spirit of positive vibes I'm gonna skip this awful story.

Sabariah's Wedding & Fadilla's Engagement
More stories about matrimony and betrothal, hurrah!!! So happy for them both. Unfortunately I didn't bring my own camera to Sab's wedding so there are no pictures from her BIG DAY. Thank God I brought one during Fad's Eday ;) so you can enjoy the whole occasion in the pictures! *heart*

More Bonding with His Family
The past few months have brought us even closer and I've bonded even more with his family. A few weeks back his sister treated the whole family for dinner at Italiannies. Before we went to Gardens, we gathered at his sister's place in Alam Damai, Cheras which happens to be near Abg Boy's house. We had a hearty dinner and I simple adore his nieces :) They are super duper cute;) Last week after receiving his first salary since he started in Perodua he bought satay for his family. I felt so happy for him. That night, his nieces played with me and even though I felt tired as prior to that we went out and the traffic that day was so awful...(kesian driver, stress je)but at the end of it I was very happy, grateful, thankful and feel so blessed.

Kerja Kahwin
So far Alhamdulillah...We already bought the diamond for my wedding ring, just waiting for the right time to buy the casing. It is just a simple and modest diamond ring. He went to a wedding fair in Ampang Point about 3 weeks back and made bookings with the vendor for our wedding card. It was quite a good deal he got! There was another wedding fair last week at Wangsa Walk. There we found quite a good offer for nikah bridal dais, bride & groom outfit and 1 make up session for...RM2100!!! I would say that's a fair price as often times even renting an outfit would cost at least 800 and it could go up as high as 2500, ok! And...it's not for yours to keep...what a waste. Since I am only renting for groom's side reception, so I don't really mind.

PMR!!!!
3 Bestari students do me proud!!!!!!!!!! ALL THE BEST FOR PMR :)

SPM is coming soon......I'm so scared.....this is my first year teaching form 5 students, and their trial was not quite promising. Let's do the best we can in this limited time and do whatever we can to prepare for the battle!

MUET
Today I conducted a mock test for the speaking component. Yesterday I've already discussed issues pertaining to the situation that I was going to ask the next day. However, as anticipated, they were unprepared and also it looked like they can't even string utterances together decently. I only managed to squeeze in 2 groups. Honestly I was very disappointed with them. I've taught them, discussed issues with them, gave notes and do practices...but they still DON'T GET IT!!! What have I done wrong?

NEVERTHELESS, as a TEACHER, I cannot give up, I must pray for them, I must be patient and I must help them.

BUT, there is a big chance I will think of other options as honestly, after only 2 years I am quite worried if this is what I'll be doing for the rest of my life...hmm....

I've also applied for transfer but chances of getting it is very slim...so let's not get our hopes up too high!
I need a break, year end break how I yearn for you!!!!!!!

An Entry on ~OuR memorable engagement~

The couple's photo session
Friends forever
OMG!
Us again
Kontrol konon
Saying our goodbyes
Tok Teh & me
From us to them
The discussion
Confused, what next?
Mama, me & bakal mak
Me and his mom
I thought I saw tears in her eyes
Sarung cincin
Praying for us, ameen...
The crowd inside
Bakal mak & Mak Uda
Bapak greeting his uncle
Ready to beat the traffic
Rafei all smiles
The RING
Performing Sunat Dhuha
Fad called a few days ago and asked, How does being engaged feel like? And my response was, "I still can't believe it!!!"
09.07.2011 - Not only was this date memorable because of our engagement, but also because of the infamous Bersih rally that caused massive jams everywhere due to the roadblocks at almost every toll you could think of. Let's put aside political issues here, as I am only interested to discuss about our first step towards the happiest day of our lives as a couple. I got home 2 days before and the moment I set foot inside my house, millions of thoughts were running through my mind. The checklist was increasing every minute and I kept calming myself that everything will be fine, please Dear Allah. There were flowers to be bought and arranged, room to decorate, house to clean up and decorate and so many little things to buy. The most worrying part, would people turn up on time? That Saturday morning, with only 4 hours of sleep I crept out of bed and started with the Sirih Junjung arrangement. Hani was pulling her tak cukup tidur tantrum, forcing my mum to carry her around and thus making it difficult for my poor mother to start getting things done. Finally, she calmed down and mama could work. Pity mama...
I hurriedly went to the bathroom and showered before the arrival of my MUA. She was the same person who did kak anies' make up on her wedding, I thought she looked nice, so I figured I should just use her contacts. Hehe...malas nak fikir...
She was supposed to be here at 12.30 but as you know traffic was HELL so by the time she got here it was already almost 1. Entourage will be coming at 3, according to plan, but we expected some delay as you know what will cause the that delay. *sigh* I was all pretty and ready at 2.30. Really pleased with the end result, everything was just as I had imagined. So the wait began. At 1500 hours, they faced first obstacle at toll Kota Damansara, 30 minutes later they made it to subang toll but was stuck there as well. 1545, he texted me, "Dah nak sampai" and I yelled to the people outside, "Dah nak sampai!!!"...The nerves kicked in. This was it, the moment of truth. After all the heartache, the betrayal and false hope, finally a fresh new person. Only 5 months after our very first meeting, here we were, getting engaged. It was so surreal. I felt like it was only yesterday I had Faridah and Emelda over for tea and we had our girl talk on L.O.V.E. Everything was so quick, nonetheless it was beautiful. Every moment with Rafei feels great, everything about him is everything I had hoped for in a man I would call my husband. Without any doubt, he is THE ONE:)
They arrived with green and white hantaran made by Mak Uda, his aunt. I only saw a glimpse of my future MIL 'salam'ing the ladies. She's such a sweet lady. I sat quietly and patiently, whispering prayers of gratitude and hoping that this engagement was blessed by the Almighty. I was also praying for patience, happiness, more 'rezeki' and this engagement lasts until the very day we're pronounced as a lawful wedded couple, InsyaAllah...Ameen...
After the recitation of doa by the imam of the mosque nearby, I was called to the living room. There she was, my future MIL, all so sweet, waiting to place the ring on my finger. I felt this warm feeling of love despite the obvious nervousness. She initiated small talks before the ceremony and slowly took the ring we picked out 2 months ago and placed it nicely on my ring finger. I managed to utter 'Bismillahirahmanirahim'. That was quick, I thought. I kissed her hand and she hugged me. I saw tears in her loving eyes. "Was she crying?" It was beyond words, I was extremely touched. Grateful, that was how I felt. Happy is an understatement I suppose, everything was great. ALHAMDULILLAH.
Soon I was chatting with his sister and cousins, answering questions about how we met and more questions about myself. They were all very nice. Hehe, I was still waiting for him and soon I saw my fiance. Hehe, sudah upgrade sayang! He is my fiance - Rafei Darajat :) I L U :)) Here are some of the moments on that memorable day ;) Enjoy, peeps! Credit to Mr. Yon Bakar for the beautiful pics, love them all:))