Going wayyyyyy back when...Falling for a best friend.
I was only 14 and I had this guy friend who was always around telling me about everything that went on with his life, so naturally I did the same and we just connected. He's nice, down to earth, good looking, smart and wallah! Isn't that what every girl looks for in a man? So when he told me he had fallen for one of my best friends, I chocked for a moment. I felt a pang of jealousy rushed through me but I tried so hard to hide it, I was worried he might notice. HAHAHA - silly me! That little crush lasted a very long time before I could understand the first lesson in LOVE and LIFE: Learning to differentiate between LOVE and just being NICE. A person who loves you would not wait for 10 years to do something about it - you know what I mean. A person who loves you, will make time no matter how busy he or she may be, even just for 10 minutes talking to you after a long day at work. It's exactly like He's Just Not That Into You - if a man likes you he would call.
I also learnt about LOVE & LIFE the hard way. As girls, we grew up fed with fairy tales and happily ever after and prince charming...but what they didn't tell you - LOVE can be painful. Well it's not supposed to be if it began with the right purpose and followed by sincerity and executed the right way. I learnt to taste disappointment at its core I suppose. Well, in short I met a guy whom I thought at the time had the right package, though lacking something, but still was worthy of my love. However, what I got in returned after lots of drama was nothing short of the feeling of humiliation, bitterness, devastation - which were VERY UNHEALTHY! So I stopped and thought long and hard. What was wrong with me? And then I realised, I was overlooking the most important thing in one's life - One's RELIGION. My ex was not a Muslim and there so many outside pressures. Soon it just became too messy and he started changing. To cut it short, we broke up and he hooked up with one of my close friends. This may be subjective to many, but to me, my religion was the only thing that saved me from hitting rock bottom. From there I learnt to look back at myself and 'repaired' myself from the emotional damages. That was the saddest part of my life I wish never to revisit. However, I must say I learnt a lot from that experience. A guy who loves you would do their best for you instead of making you do things for them. A guy who loves you will not take you for granted and mistreat you. I took a long break from relationships as I learnt to know myself better and slowly I tried to become a better person in whatever ways I could. It is quite surprising actually how much YOU LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF when heartaches happen. I'm not here to dish about all the wrong things that guys have done to me, instead it's more about how I learn what love means from the experience I went through. None of these guys are bad people, but they just weren't right for me, and I wasn't right for them too!
Meeting MR RIGHT
Mr RIGHT is NOT Mr Perfect. Mr RIGHT doesn't drive a great car - I still love your B(l)M sayang! Mr RIGHT was just his humble and simple self, with a sense of humour and a wonderful heart. He doesn't surprise me with flowers but he meets my parents before bringing me out. He doesn't buy me handbags but never fails to cheer me up when I'm down. He doesn't promise me wealth but sincerely gives his heart to me. He doesn't tell me what to do, he only wish for me to be a good Muslim who abides Allah & Rasul. As for now, I am convinced with the love he's shown and I believe he will be a good husband and InsyaAllah father. We both are not perfect people, still learning, still making mistakes and learning some more. It is the first time for me dating someone older actually, and I believe my mother was right when she advised us to marry an older man. However, the age gap is not that big - only 4 years. Naturally he's more matured than me (Alhamdulillah for that), because of that too I have faith that I can rely on him. Ultimately, as I am a Muslim, it all comes back to jodoh. You know what they say, "Kalau dah jodoh, tak ke mana..." (walaupun jumpa dlm FB je!)...hehehe...good luck to us, may we become a strong, happy and blessed married couple InsyaAllah! I am sooooo looking forward to this - MARRIED LIFE :)
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I added cool smileys to this message... if you don't see them go to: http://html.expresso.me/smileys
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