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Teachers and camping trips

So far this blog has been the place I vent my frustration, fear and hope as well as some heart-warming stories about my life as a teacher. One of the activities that I used to like so much as a student, but not that much as a teacher is CAMPING. Camping as a student is A LOT different from camping as a teacher. Both have their pros and cons. Students have to follow all the activities and must be punctual. As a result, students stink during camping and the tents get untidy and dirty as students rush in and out to change for the following activity. Students are not allowed to miss any activities and late-comers will be punished. They (teachers or camp organisers) test you mentally and physically doing all sort of activities to test various types of fear; fear of the dark/water/height and so and so forth, until you get so tired or so scared but after all that you’ll feel so happy you’ve conquered that fear! On the other hand as teachers, the story is somewhat different. As teachers, we only have to sit through or go through certain activities which we’re in charge of i.e. I like trekking so I can choose to follow my students for that activity but if I don’t feel like getting wet after my much needed quick splash of water to cleanse myself, I can work something out to pass that activity. Another great thing is we can bathe and shower without worrying about the whistle/siren/yelling from anyone. Now this is a great advantage, especially when the last bath you took was more than 24 hours ago! Oh, boy! I must’ve stunk so badly. Anyways, getting back on track, as teachers we are supposed to take care of students and this is where the hard parts begin. This is what we don’t like – but responsibilities must be shouldered. So, there’s nothing we can do about that.
This year I’ve been to 3 camping trips. The first was in April, Girl Guide’s state level annual camp in Jerantut. Four students from our school represented our district. That was the best camping trip ever as we did all the work and we really slept in tents. As one of the teachers who ‘accidentally’ joined the camping, I was really glad I joined. We cooked for our students and I helped out and learned a lot from the senior teachers. That was also my first time meeting Tengku Puan Pahang as she also attended the camping on the last day. I was literally in awe, mesmerized by her beauty. But before she got to our campsite we went to great lengths to ensure that she will be entertained well in such a ‘natural’ surrounding. We were quite creative as we used sarongs to create a so-called blinds to shield our guest from the scorching sun. She chatted with the students for a bit and we listened to her childhood stories. Another unforgettable moment was definitely when we were awarded numerous prizes for all the categories we won. We emerged as the best troop in the end! Go, Maran!
The second camping was an event organized by the school’s Counselling Unit. It’s a motivational camp for PMR and SPM students. It is divided to two batches; first for SPM students and second for PMR students. I went for the latter and I must say what I loved most about this camping trip is cave exploration. We explored Mount Senyum, a cave with its own legend; a ‘bunian’ village and how this mythical princess wedded a man from the nearby village. I’m beginning to love cave exploration and I truly felt close to nature when I went on this activity. Will definitely do this again!- Do check out my fb album titled Mount Senyum challenge for pics from this trip

The third camping was held last week. It was held at Taman Pertanian Kuantan. I must say that for this one I sat out for most of the activities bacause I was quite drained already from all the work in school and hostel. Being a warden - not a walk in the park, but this will need another posting on its own. Anyways, I got the opportunity to frighten my students during the night walk activity. Students were to walk along a trail led by a string and they were instructed to walk one-by-one all alone. We sat in the dark and as they passed us we witnessed so many different and mostly funny responses. They shivered, made odd sounds which indicated their fear, a few cried, some were strong and we can't help ourselves from laughing at them. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! But would I do it? Not in a million years...I hate the dark!

He Had Such Quiet Eyes

I taught this poem to Four Bestari a few weeks back and while explaining about the poem I felt like it was a reminder for myself as well. I was reminding the students as well as myself about how not to drift away when one is in love. The poem is about how a woman was charmed and lured into loving a man who only gave her false hope and in the end she only has regrets and disappointment over the fate that befell her. As I was explaining, I stepped into my 21 year old self who did fall in love with someone and who was later heart-broken because of that someone. Although it took many years to recover, but I don't want to teach my students to be regretful for any past mistakes, or resent themselves for any wrong doings. What I'd like them to be is someone with self-worth, who knows what they deserve, allow themselves to make some mistakes knowing that no one is perfect but at the same time take life with a lot of care and think of the consequences of any foolish actions. I do not encourage boy-girl relationships in school, nor do I propose that students should not get into boy-girl relationships at all - I've had my share of crushes and puppy love, it's only natural to develop some kind of interest in the opposite sex but this has to be handled wisely before the unwanted circumstance happens. The whole objective, as I see it, is to raise the issue of sexual promiscuity which is rampant among teenagers today. I did broach this topic and did my responsibility as an adult and as a teacher to remind them about their responsibilities as a Muslim, a child and a student. Whatever it is, I hope I delivered the message clearly which is no human is free from err, and Allah always accepts taubat. The most important is to make that step to improve oneself. I hope and pray that all my students will be good and responsible people in the future. Amen.

My first ever observation as a teacher

Words got around last week that 'people' are coming to our school to observe and evaluate teachers and the school. Alhamdulillah, it's not JPN for I've heard horrendous stories about JPN's observation in school. I imagined the worst. The horror of having a stranger watching me, scrutinizing the teaching folio and the worst of all - my 'wonderful' students' exercise books. What will they say to the incomplete work by the students? How would they react to the corrections left undone and God I've reminded and reprimanded them to get them done - but to no avail! just the cherry on top, right? 'The' day was getting nearer and I've had this bad feeling for days - like you know your teacher is going to call out your name to answer the question that you don't know (I got that all the time in school - they were usually right). The feeling was definitely right as I've predicted. I was 'hand picked' to be observed last week on Tuesday. It was my form 3 10.30 class, yes, after recess which means kids would dilly dally to class with numerous excuses. So, I did a bit of preparation and briefed my students about who will be coming in today. To my surprise, they were co-operative, even the usual delinquents became 'tame' instead of the usual hostility. I continued on with my lesson as planned and after almost half an hour through the lesson, a man of about my dad's age stepped into the class. Boy, was I trembling! I showed him his seat and continued with my lesson. Being a beginner teacher we tend to do things by the book and often very rehearsed in our style because we're afraid to make mistakes. This brings me back to my days as a practical teacher, when I was under the watchful eyes of my lecturers and mentor, people whom I discussed with first before I was evaluated. But this time, this person, this very senior teacher is not someone I've ever met or even for one second talked to. What if he thinks I'm a horrible teacher, or what if he's one of those people who waits for you to make mistakes and scribble nasty things on that piece of paper that would go on my record in this profession. Oh, when will that bell ring and I'll be saved by the bell! I continued to attend to my students and kindly answered their questions (not acting, this is something I do on daily basis). And the moment we've been waiting for arrived!!! And right before the siren made its extremely annoying sound, I ended my lesson by reemphasizing the moral values of the lesson - Malaysian classrooms are big on moral values, this would probably earn me that extra point! haha...Alhamdulillah, it's finally over. Encik Yahya said thank you and I thanked him back and he told me I could take back my folio...Jengjengjeng...Tahniah! Selamat menjadi guru yang baik mendidik anak bangsa! Oh, yeah! I feel good... :)

What F2 and F3 in SMSJ taught me

I finally broke down and told my mom I didn't want to go to school. I just could not take it; the whispers, the staring, the silent treatment and mean looks. It was unbearable. As far as I was concerned I didn't do anything really bad like the kind of thing that could harm people's reputation or lives for that matter. I tried in vain to apologize, begged my way to forgiveness, trying to win that smile. I tried calling, I tried e-mailing, but nothing seemed to work. Well, you've guessed it. All these politics among girls have existed for centuries. Girls fight over popularity, envious of who's better looking than who or even who's smarter than who. Sad to say, worst of all - girls fight over boys. The most shameful of all the reasons to fight. I must admit, I was once guilty of that too. For ages I tried to come to terms with that hurtful things some of my friends did to me. I endured and of course I've forgiven them even though I did not get any actual apology for being mean from them. Now honestly, I could not care less. I wish all of them well and I don't hold a single grudge in my heart.
I was also wrong, and immature. Guess what, we were all the same. However, the one thing that I failed to comprehend was what's the wisdom behind all this? Apart from - if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger. All those crap didn't quite come in handy until last night happened. Prior to that 3 upper-6 girls were caught sleeping in the comfort of their own room in the hostel during school hours. The school's discipline teacher took matters into her hands and they really got it from her. I could not back them up. The unspoken rule in the teaching field, you just don't over step certain boundaries and rules are rules, so they belong to the disciplinarians.
There has also been a lot of noise and grouses about this group of upper 6 girls and that group of upper 6 girls. The split was so obvious and I could not bear this any longer – especially because I’ve had my share of girl conflicts. With my knowledge and experience I had to play the mediator to help these kids understand each other and themselves better. As usual, everything turned out to be plain misunderstandings. We build our beliefs based on mere assumptions, putting our feelings and emotions in front before our heads – we’re all guilty of that at many points in our lives, especially girls and they grow up to be women. So I helped them communicate. They did and it did almost turn ugly with emotions escalating – typical girls. Then they did finally shake their hands and showed some love and we all hugged like some crazy in love people. I personally felt it inside my heart. When I was going through such a difficult time in school I dealt with it, mostly on my own and I had to resort to somewhat making myself smaller so I could gain some sympathy and forgiveness for whatever I did wrong – like I still don’t know what it was for sure but whatever. Allah knew for sure that for me to be a good teacher, a teacher who gives a damn about my kids I must be equipped. What best way to learn if not by making mistakes and experiencing them. Therefore, now I see the point why it was necessary for me to go through that. It clearly makes me a good teacher. A teacher who cares, a teacher who guides and show love. Actually I’m far from there, but I’m learning. Well ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Aida just became a mediator.
P/s: Kids can be mean and adults can be like kids too sometimes. Think about it.

Soleha

I remember the first week she stayed at the hostel. She cried, and cried, and cried. Poor little girl being away from home for the first time. Soleha didn't talk much, whatever happened she insisted to go back home. In school she wore wrinkled uniform and there were whispers about her being a stinky kid. That struck me as plain cruel of these kids to label a person like that. Oh, well...children, what do you expect? I decided to ask her dorm mates. One said, "Teacher, dia tak basuh basuh baju..." The other uttered, "Teacher dia tak gosok baju". Another whispered, "Teacher, dia malas mandi. Kalau ramai orang dia bukan mandi pergi sekolah!" Was this really true? I approached Soleha and very subtly broached the subject. What started off as a simple get-to-know each other conversation turned out to reveal many things about this often quiet and shy girl. Soleha's family consists of only three people. Her father passed away a few years back and her mother worked at a school canteen, earning a few hundreds to bring up her daughters. Soleha's sister is in standard 5 and the reason why she doesn't iron her school uniform is simply because she never had an iron at home. Okay, that explains. Apart from that, she's also a slow learner and that was said to be heridetary. That explains the part about her lack of self hygiene care. For most of us, everything is laid nicely on our first day of school, crisp new uniforms, white canvas shoes and a brand new backpack to match. We march into the school compund followed by a grown-up, ensuring that we have safely arrived at our school. We walk in confidently and try to find fimiliar faces, we also don't fail to make new friends on the first day. However for Soleha, not having a transport to school forced her to stay in the hostel. Her mother could not accompany her to school and she had to come with a neighbour who has a car. For most of us also, puberty comes when we are aware of what it is. Girls in school would equip themselves with sanitary napkins and they usually know the existance of bra as early as standard 2 and start putting them on at standard 5 or 6. For Soleha, it's a total shock to see that red blood stain on her undies. Plus, she doesn't even have a bra. After knowing this girl, I realised how blessed and lucky I have been. I have never seen such a thing and looking at this girl grinning and joyful despite her hardship really touched me. I on the other hand, keep complaining about life here. So, what can I do? Upon receiving the reward after my torturous SPM marking experience last year, I've decided to spare some cash to get Soleha some supplies. I got her next month's supply of Kotex plus some new undies. They were really cute! Haha...Soleha took the paper bag and smiled sheepishly. She didn't utter a word but I knew the contents of that paperbag meant something to her. It felt great :)

Happy Belated Teacher's Day

May 16 - the only day you see teachers really smiling, hehe...really? nah, teachers also smile when students do well in exams, give good answers or even a simple gesture of greeting teachers as students pass by them. On this very day, at least a teacher's frown is not visible, a teacher feels happy that they are doing this noble deed for the betterment of the younger generation. Isn't that something? Often times, we only see the fierce side of them, forgetting that what they are doing is merely a responsibility, a promise to the nation that they will do whatever it takes to prepare the young generation for the real world out there. It's not so much of producing strings of As, but more of hoping and expecting to see positive attitude in students. Praying that they will be hardworking, take education and life seriously and most importantly become successful in the future both here and in the hereafter. On a personal level, although I've had my share of disappointments with students and there were times I lost some control and composure resulting in some of them feeling hurt inside but honestly, I mean well. Students always misunderstand this and hold grudges, maybe I've done that too as a student, but bottomline once teachers get back to the staffroom, that anger subsides and we always say, "Let's make tomorrow a better day. Start anew, and we'll see what happens." Kids, we love you! This reminds me of those great teacher movies; i.e. Dangerous Minds, Freedom Writers, Sister Act and The Dead Poet's Society. To follow their style, it's impossible given the surrounding and environment we're living in. However, I believe many teachers in Malaysia resemble that spirit of never giving up and perservering despite all the negative attitudes and feedback we get from our students. This profession defines the phrase a 'love hate relationship'. You hate it and love all at the same time. Once in it, you plunge into this pool of emotions and no matter how you try to be professional about everything you can only say at the end of the day, "I'm only human, I've done what I can the best way I know how." To my students especially 3 Venus kids - You can do it!!!