He Had Such Quiet Eyes

I taught this poem to Four Bestari a few weeks back and while explaining about the poem I felt like it was a reminder for myself as well. I was reminding the students as well as myself about how not to drift away when one is in love. The poem is about how a woman was charmed and lured into loving a man who only gave her false hope and in the end she only has regrets and disappointment over the fate that befell her. As I was explaining, I stepped into my 21 year old self who did fall in love with someone and who was later heart-broken because of that someone. Although it took many years to recover, but I don't want to teach my students to be regretful for any past mistakes, or resent themselves for any wrong doings. What I'd like them to be is someone with self-worth, who knows what they deserve, allow themselves to make some mistakes knowing that no one is perfect but at the same time take life with a lot of care and think of the consequences of any foolish actions. I do not encourage boy-girl relationships in school, nor do I propose that students should not get into boy-girl relationships at all - I've had my share of crushes and puppy love, it's only natural to develop some kind of interest in the opposite sex but this has to be handled wisely before the unwanted circumstance happens. The whole objective, as I see it, is to raise the issue of sexual promiscuity which is rampant among teenagers today. I did broach this topic and did my responsibility as an adult and as a teacher to remind them about their responsibilities as a Muslim, a child and a student. Whatever it is, I hope I delivered the message clearly which is no human is free from err, and Allah always accepts taubat. The most important is to make that step to improve oneself. I hope and pray that all my students will be good and responsible people in the future. Amen.

My first ever observation as a teacher

Words got around last week that 'people' are coming to our school to observe and evaluate teachers and the school. Alhamdulillah, it's not JPN for I've heard horrendous stories about JPN's observation in school. I imagined the worst. The horror of having a stranger watching me, scrutinizing the teaching folio and the worst of all - my 'wonderful' students' exercise books. What will they say to the incomplete work by the students? How would they react to the corrections left undone and God I've reminded and reprimanded them to get them done - but to no avail! just the cherry on top, right? 'The' day was getting nearer and I've had this bad feeling for days - like you know your teacher is going to call out your name to answer the question that you don't know (I got that all the time in school - they were usually right). The feeling was definitely right as I've predicted. I was 'hand picked' to be observed last week on Tuesday. It was my form 3 10.30 class, yes, after recess which means kids would dilly dally to class with numerous excuses. So, I did a bit of preparation and briefed my students about who will be coming in today. To my surprise, they were co-operative, even the usual delinquents became 'tame' instead of the usual hostility. I continued on with my lesson as planned and after almost half an hour through the lesson, a man of about my dad's age stepped into the class. Boy, was I trembling! I showed him his seat and continued with my lesson. Being a beginner teacher we tend to do things by the book and often very rehearsed in our style because we're afraid to make mistakes. This brings me back to my days as a practical teacher, when I was under the watchful eyes of my lecturers and mentor, people whom I discussed with first before I was evaluated. But this time, this person, this very senior teacher is not someone I've ever met or even for one second talked to. What if he thinks I'm a horrible teacher, or what if he's one of those people who waits for you to make mistakes and scribble nasty things on that piece of paper that would go on my record in this profession. Oh, when will that bell ring and I'll be saved by the bell! I continued to attend to my students and kindly answered their questions (not acting, this is something I do on daily basis). And the moment we've been waiting for arrived!!! And right before the siren made its extremely annoying sound, I ended my lesson by reemphasizing the moral values of the lesson - Malaysian classrooms are big on moral values, this would probably earn me that extra point! haha...Alhamdulillah, it's finally over. Encik Yahya said thank you and I thanked him back and he told me I could take back my folio...Jengjengjeng...Tahniah! Selamat menjadi guru yang baik mendidik anak bangsa! Oh, yeah! I feel good... :)