1 year working anniversary, still not rich :p

Dear readers, this time I’m going to make a few changes to my postings. First thing first, sorry for the angry entry but I felt that I needed to write that to let out my frustrations on some issues and obviously someone. It goes to show just how human I am and sometimes I can’t take unfair treatments. Secondly, I will take Fadilla’s advice and insert pictures in this blog. It’s not that I didn’t want to, but I just didn’t have the time to do all the selecting and uploading and mostly it’s because all my pictures could be easily found on facebook. It’s more convenient. Moving along, this entry is actually a tribute. It’s a tribute to all the people who have been with me throughout my journey from my final semester as a practicum teacher all the way to my posting in Chenor. It’s my way of celebrating my 1 year milestone as a teacher and I have all these wonderful people to thank for making my life colourful. It’s definitely a mixture of warm and bright colours as well as dark and dull ones. Oh, well! That’s what life is, isn’t it? They are my caring and supportive family members; from my 86 year old grandma to my 5 months and a half nephew who could only drool and laugh! Thanks all, you guys have been my pillar of strength from day one until now and insyaAllah for as long as I live. Next up, my positive and great friends; whether you guys are in Subang, Pahang, Johor or even Sarawak and not to forget Sheffield, even your slightest thoughts and prayers and especially your comfy shoulders to cry on and open arms have been my saviour and the reason why I continue on this journey with my head held high. I can only pray for good things for each and every one of you in everything you do and every journey you are about to embark on (hint: to those lucky ones who’ll be married!) I would also like to extend my most heartfelt appreciation to my lecturers both in IPGMTI and UPM for all their teachings and advice. We would not have made it without all of you. I must also thank Pn. Ho Yatt Chin, my mentor in SMKSR who inspired me to be a dedicated and motivated teacher. Somehow, I was sent to the same school she was sent for her posting. Perhaps I would also be ‘Guru Cemerlang’, like her! InsyaAllah. Thank you everyone. You are amazing people!
July 13th 2010 marked my first year anniversary as a real teacher. I have learnt a lot ever since I became a teacher. It has taught me to become a better person, and it has also made me want to become a good parent to my children in the future. It makes me realise how love, attention, dedication and patience are so important in nurturing a child. It has made me realised that neglecting a child is the first step to send them into a miserable life. Besides making me better inside, being here in a rural school and a whole new surrounding have also made me so much stronger and independent. It’s like when you’re thrown into the wild you just have to survive, you don’t have a choice. Being here also has made me appreciate my family in a magnitude that I’ve never experienced. Although I have been away from home, but I was in JB then, and that kind of surrounding was no alien to me. But here, I feel that everything is different. Reminiscing the first day I stepped here, makes me smile now. How I’ve grown since that day. That was the second time or perhaps the third I saw my mother cried. Her words were, “Tengok-tengokkan lah Aida ni, dia tak pernah duduk tempat macam ni,”. My mother, she had doubts I would survive. Look! I’m okay! In addition, I wouldn’t have started driving if I wasn’t sent here, a place where I need a car or any mode of transportation to get to the nearest bank! It’s about 30 minutes drive from here. To tell you the truth, it’s really not that bad. Especially when you get an abundance of local fruits during their season, and the fresh air you inhale and the simple life you learn to adapt to. It’s totally, and 110% different from what I’m normally used to. To top it up, the people here are nice and they treat me nice and try as much as possible to make my life here comfortable and happy, knowing that I’m far from home and I may be missing my family and home. Lastly, the values in this school as in how they hold Islamic way of life and values close to them bring me back to my roots as Muslim and made me realised I have not been a very good Muslim and I should work on improving myself. This whole place and people, bring me back down to earth. It teaches me to be so grateful of everything I have. When around me I see some children who are not quite fortunate but still manage to smile and show such gratification to the slightest act of kindness from others just amaze me. There’s a reason behind everything, and I’m slowly seeing a reason behind this. For start, I now know there’s a place called Chenor in Pahang. I would like to wrap up my very long entry today with a special thanks to teachers and friends here in Chenor who have helped me in numerous ways and finally I’d like to thank my students for giving a sense of understanding of what teaching means. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m learning and trying.

1 Harmoni

I'd never thought I'd be saying this but honestly this is the best class to teach. Although it's the last form 1 class, the commitment and enthusiasm the kids show is something to be proud of. Albeit there are quite a number with some kind of learning deficiency, they still try to learn how ever long it might take. For those of you who have heard about Soleha, well this is the class she belongs to. There are about 3 other students like her in this class. After teaching the class for about 2 months I've detected certain reading problems among the students. About 5 can't read English and a few others can't write and read well. This Ramadhan I've managed to get a bit of donation from a few family members and with that money I plan to get some books for the students to help them with their reading and writing skills. I hope this effort will go a long way in helping them learn. I pray that Allah will give me the strength and commitment to help them. This is because often times when I teach them the syllabus they fail to follow, resulting in zero objectives achieved for them. Come to think about it, there really isn't a point at all. I just wonder what will happen to them if 5 years down the road they continue on this way. Although honestly I don't know much about the pedagogical side of teaching the basics, I'll just try to go with the elementary or kindergarten books and help them work their way up. I can't expect too much but this is my plan for now.
I've had many fun moments with this class. I don't know why but I go to great lengths to make sure that my lessons are fun for them. Although many would give up and are reluctant to do much for this lot, but I think otherwise. I do know that there's nothing much that I could achieve, but I feel it's important to instill the interest first before bringing them into the exam answering skills. They can't do it. I have faith with a lot of patience and guidance these kids can thrive too, maybe at a slower pace and lower level. Nonetheless, I am a believer of competing with oneself and not others. If they could overcome their disabilities however still cannot pass exam, at least they have tried.
One of the most interesting lessons I've done is learning about Part of the Body. That was very interesting and fun. First lesson we did a warm up exercise in class and that was when I noticed many did not know some of the parts of their body. So, the next lesson I showed them a video clip and picture as you can view from this posting. After that I drilled them on the parts of the body and did a spelling test. Later, I also extended the lesson on how to keep themselves fit. I wouldn't say it was successful in making them good English users, but at least I could be satisfied with at least an extra of 3 to 5 words they learnt from these lessons. I hope to do more and heed Fadilla's advice on a method that was done by her sister in law's father to help students read. I hope I could do it even though we all know the main hindrance is TIME, but I must try first.

Marital Status Matters

I write this with much annoyance and regret. (LOL). Is it because I’m single? Or is it because I’m envious of my either involved in a relationship or engaged friends? Well, maybe a little. Truth is, in this profession or maybe at least in the school I’m teaching now this issue determines how much work you’ll end up doing especially when it comes to after school activities or school activities during holidays. So far due to my marital status, I’m being listed on every single activity which robs me off my much needed weekend. To top it up, I’m currently the warden therefore on every other weekend I’ll have to be in school babysitting my girls. It hinders me from enjoying my time with friends either in my hometown or with my friends here in Pahang. The same question again and again and again would always revolve around the issue of my being free from any commitments. News flash, I’ve got a life! What pisses me off even more is the fact that a new teacher who got posted early this year, is always using the same excuses of how busy she is preparing for engagement and what have you and also keep telling the world when she’ll be married and how she can’t be available at all times because her mom isn’t well. There were many times when she simply packed her bag and left school at 12.15 first thing on Friday. This may sound like a b**c*ing session but it really isn’t. It’s all about how unfair things can be and how you can be considered lesser for being single. Anyways, since I consider myself still young and yes I do hope that my Mr. Right will appear or rather realise my existence, I still maintain my free-spirited self and graciously accept whatever task given by senior teachers here. There were times I wish I was married or engaged, at least I could have a life and rest a bit from the demands of both being a teacher and the warden. At least with the official marriage certificate I could apply for a transfer easier as I have a valid reason. For now, I am considered free from any commitments which supposedly allow me to be in school around the clock. Tick-tock-tick, sometimes I have to stay at the hospital up to 2.30 a.m. Perhaps this is Allah’s way of testing me…of granting me forgiveness for my wrongdoings…of awarding me the virtue of patience and strong-will that I always pray for. After all, you don’t simply get what you wish for but rather Allah gives you the opportunity to attain your wish. Yes, you’re going to have to work your way towards it. Hence,at the end of the day, I’ll say, ok…ok…I’ll do it.

Thank u for reading

This goes out to you, whoever you are who actually read this...thanks:) do share thoughts as long as they are constructive in nature...nothing unfriendly and mean please...thank you once again.

Teachers and camping trips

So far this blog has been the place I vent my frustration, fear and hope as well as some heart-warming stories about my life as a teacher. One of the activities that I used to like so much as a student, but not that much as a teacher is CAMPING. Camping as a student is A LOT different from camping as a teacher. Both have their pros and cons. Students have to follow all the activities and must be punctual. As a result, students stink during camping and the tents get untidy and dirty as students rush in and out to change for the following activity. Students are not allowed to miss any activities and late-comers will be punished. They (teachers or camp organisers) test you mentally and physically doing all sort of activities to test various types of fear; fear of the dark/water/height and so and so forth, until you get so tired or so scared but after all that you’ll feel so happy you’ve conquered that fear! On the other hand as teachers, the story is somewhat different. As teachers, we only have to sit through or go through certain activities which we’re in charge of i.e. I like trekking so I can choose to follow my students for that activity but if I don’t feel like getting wet after my much needed quick splash of water to cleanse myself, I can work something out to pass that activity. Another great thing is we can bathe and shower without worrying about the whistle/siren/yelling from anyone. Now this is a great advantage, especially when the last bath you took was more than 24 hours ago! Oh, boy! I must’ve stunk so badly. Anyways, getting back on track, as teachers we are supposed to take care of students and this is where the hard parts begin. This is what we don’t like – but responsibilities must be shouldered. So, there’s nothing we can do about that.
This year I’ve been to 3 camping trips. The first was in April, Girl Guide’s state level annual camp in Jerantut. Four students from our school represented our district. That was the best camping trip ever as we did all the work and we really slept in tents. As one of the teachers who ‘accidentally’ joined the camping, I was really glad I joined. We cooked for our students and I helped out and learned a lot from the senior teachers. That was also my first time meeting Tengku Puan Pahang as she also attended the camping on the last day. I was literally in awe, mesmerized by her beauty. But before she got to our campsite we went to great lengths to ensure that she will be entertained well in such a ‘natural’ surrounding. We were quite creative as we used sarongs to create a so-called blinds to shield our guest from the scorching sun. She chatted with the students for a bit and we listened to her childhood stories. Another unforgettable moment was definitely when we were awarded numerous prizes for all the categories we won. We emerged as the best troop in the end! Go, Maran!
The second camping was an event organized by the school’s Counselling Unit. It’s a motivational camp for PMR and SPM students. It is divided to two batches; first for SPM students and second for PMR students. I went for the latter and I must say what I loved most about this camping trip is cave exploration. We explored Mount Senyum, a cave with its own legend; a ‘bunian’ village and how this mythical princess wedded a man from the nearby village. I’m beginning to love cave exploration and I truly felt close to nature when I went on this activity. Will definitely do this again!- Do check out my fb album titled Mount Senyum challenge for pics from this trip

The third camping was held last week. It was held at Taman Pertanian Kuantan. I must say that for this one I sat out for most of the activities bacause I was quite drained already from all the work in school and hostel. Being a warden - not a walk in the park, but this will need another posting on its own. Anyways, I got the opportunity to frighten my students during the night walk activity. Students were to walk along a trail led by a string and they were instructed to walk one-by-one all alone. We sat in the dark and as they passed us we witnessed so many different and mostly funny responses. They shivered, made odd sounds which indicated their fear, a few cried, some were strong and we can't help ourselves from laughing at them. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! But would I do it? Not in a million years...I hate the dark!

He Had Such Quiet Eyes

I taught this poem to Four Bestari a few weeks back and while explaining about the poem I felt like it was a reminder for myself as well. I was reminding the students as well as myself about how not to drift away when one is in love. The poem is about how a woman was charmed and lured into loving a man who only gave her false hope and in the end she only has regrets and disappointment over the fate that befell her. As I was explaining, I stepped into my 21 year old self who did fall in love with someone and who was later heart-broken because of that someone. Although it took many years to recover, but I don't want to teach my students to be regretful for any past mistakes, or resent themselves for any wrong doings. What I'd like them to be is someone with self-worth, who knows what they deserve, allow themselves to make some mistakes knowing that no one is perfect but at the same time take life with a lot of care and think of the consequences of any foolish actions. I do not encourage boy-girl relationships in school, nor do I propose that students should not get into boy-girl relationships at all - I've had my share of crushes and puppy love, it's only natural to develop some kind of interest in the opposite sex but this has to be handled wisely before the unwanted circumstance happens. The whole objective, as I see it, is to raise the issue of sexual promiscuity which is rampant among teenagers today. I did broach this topic and did my responsibility as an adult and as a teacher to remind them about their responsibilities as a Muslim, a child and a student. Whatever it is, I hope I delivered the message clearly which is no human is free from err, and Allah always accepts taubat. The most important is to make that step to improve oneself. I hope and pray that all my students will be good and responsible people in the future. Amen.

My first ever observation as a teacher

Words got around last week that 'people' are coming to our school to observe and evaluate teachers and the school. Alhamdulillah, it's not JPN for I've heard horrendous stories about JPN's observation in school. I imagined the worst. The horror of having a stranger watching me, scrutinizing the teaching folio and the worst of all - my 'wonderful' students' exercise books. What will they say to the incomplete work by the students? How would they react to the corrections left undone and God I've reminded and reprimanded them to get them done - but to no avail! just the cherry on top, right? 'The' day was getting nearer and I've had this bad feeling for days - like you know your teacher is going to call out your name to answer the question that you don't know (I got that all the time in school - they were usually right). The feeling was definitely right as I've predicted. I was 'hand picked' to be observed last week on Tuesday. It was my form 3 10.30 class, yes, after recess which means kids would dilly dally to class with numerous excuses. So, I did a bit of preparation and briefed my students about who will be coming in today. To my surprise, they were co-operative, even the usual delinquents became 'tame' instead of the usual hostility. I continued on with my lesson as planned and after almost half an hour through the lesson, a man of about my dad's age stepped into the class. Boy, was I trembling! I showed him his seat and continued with my lesson. Being a beginner teacher we tend to do things by the book and often very rehearsed in our style because we're afraid to make mistakes. This brings me back to my days as a practical teacher, when I was under the watchful eyes of my lecturers and mentor, people whom I discussed with first before I was evaluated. But this time, this person, this very senior teacher is not someone I've ever met or even for one second talked to. What if he thinks I'm a horrible teacher, or what if he's one of those people who waits for you to make mistakes and scribble nasty things on that piece of paper that would go on my record in this profession. Oh, when will that bell ring and I'll be saved by the bell! I continued to attend to my students and kindly answered their questions (not acting, this is something I do on daily basis). And the moment we've been waiting for arrived!!! And right before the siren made its extremely annoying sound, I ended my lesson by reemphasizing the moral values of the lesson - Malaysian classrooms are big on moral values, this would probably earn me that extra point! haha...Alhamdulillah, it's finally over. Encik Yahya said thank you and I thanked him back and he told me I could take back my folio...Jengjengjeng...Tahniah! Selamat menjadi guru yang baik mendidik anak bangsa! Oh, yeah! I feel good... :)